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Much to my surprise, my first Being Human fic turned out to be a weird angsty thing for Aidan/Rebecca that grew from the pornathon. So while I work on all that other stuff I was supposed to be doing, here you go. I should definitely go and point a finger at nonky  for sating my hunger for Josh/Aidan and Aidan/Rebecca things. YAY. I will start on this enormous list of pronz I owe you now.

Monster meets girl. Girl becomes a monster. What did you think would happen? Aidan struggles with what he’s made of Rebecca after her first kill. Angst. R. (Aidan/Rebecca)


A patient had thrown a fit, and Rebecca was on the spot, mortification flushing her pretty face. It was reflex for Aidan to wink and reassure her, just another way to fade into the blur of horny nurses and orderlies. Luckily, he was still running on enough blood to convince the patient to take his medication. She’d smiled at him from the corner of the room, that’s when it all started. She’d asked him out, dimples showing, eyes seeking and dropping his. This was a horrible idea. She seemed to like him. He didn’t want to hurt her.

Their first date was terrible coffee first, rejected by his vampire senses and dry heaving from his stomach. He hadn’t fed on live blood in months. The withdrawal was a physical ache. She’d crept behind him into the single bathroom, patting his back and vowing they’d go some other place next time. The softness of her voice and the smell of blood under her skin was more of a sustenance than it ever could have been.

The shy seduction Rebecca perpetuated felt genuine. She wasn’t practiced like Bishop, didn’t always know the right thing to say or do. She listened to him, tilted her head, invited him in, unwary of the cutting teeth and black eyes that flashed under the surface. He’d learned some things about her inside. She still called her mother every day. There were picture frames of no one else, no brother, no father, no ex-boyfriends she was trying to forget. He couldn’t count how many girls like her he and Bishop had made disappear. Inside, Aidan’s mouth filled with a strange sense of panic.

There was no terrible bottle of wine, no stalling conversation. She’d twisted her shirt up over her head, giving him a clean view of her back, smell a banquet to his senses. She had always seemed so shy, but there was something underneath it. She knew what she wanted, knew what she would be taking. This couldn’t have been the first time she’d done this, he told himself softly. But it felt like it meant something to her. There was still humanity enough in him that he was flattered. Maybe that was what he needed, someone warm and sweet to block out the cravings and nervous sweats. He could hold out, he thought. He could give her what she wanted. He could be something more…normal. She was already naked.

Aidan dropped his clothes in heap by the bed, flirtatious smile at the ready and then dropping off his face. She wasn’t shy where it counted, skin smooth against his and teasing his senses. She tasted like heavily sweetened coffee, twisting lithely underneath him, blood pounding through her carotid like a drug. She came anchored and grasping tight underneath his hips. Any more could hurt her. The fog was clouding over his mind, already-the urge to grasp and bite and suck her dry.

Her mouth was open and emitting small sounds when he flipped onto his back, grasping for something sane and ugly to keep his head clear. “I’m sorry.” She said quietly. Didn’t understand this was what he needed. She thought he was disappointed, kept kissing him, lips pink and careful and insistent against his neck. His head hurt, teeth stung, and as his mouth opened and buried there, he heard her gasp like some far away noise in a tunnel. Like it was happening to someone else, not him, not her. By then, it was all over.

He made the call, breath hitching. They’d been talking about that, hadn’t they, Byron and the Beauty of death? The sight of her hurt- clean white skin marred by a bloom of red. She should have run as soon as he opened his mouth.

Aidan knew he had to run, knew Marcus was coming to take her body away with that hateful stain of amusement in his eyes. He was afraid to touch her. Her skin had felt warm, something he wanted to crawl into and hide in. He’d only see her in his head after that, every minute, and she was only beautiful and sad and dead.


  •  


“Go on, Aidan, do it, you know you want to.”

Rebecca is so icy now, laughing at his hand on her throat. She smirks with blood covering her mouth and running down her chin. He knows the girl bleeding out on the floor, a redhead Josh was sweet on. The smell of blood is making him dizzy. Aidan knows she’s right. Kara’s lost too much blood to live normally.

It’s his fault she’s dead. She’d wanted to go for coffee and he’d just wanted to talk for a while. Anything that took his mind off Rebecca’s body cooling in the morgue. He thought he’d let her know what a sweet guy Josh is.

“So soon?” Rebecca had whispered in his ear. “Couldn’t you have given me a week?”

He looked at her face and froze up. She wasn’t even faking breathing.

She started to tell Kara about how he hated coffee. All his polite turn-downs wouldn’t get him out of this one. He needed to tell Kara she was a risk….hey, my ex wants to rip your throat out. Rebecca lingered over the table, smile sweet, like an old girlfriend just learning to move on.

She waited to sink her teeth into Kara’s neck that night after he walked her home. The locked door didn’t matter when she was already inside. Aidan wonders if she chose Kara because she was jealous. He wonders why it matters.

“Save her, like you did me, why don’t you? Woops, you never meant to, did you?” Rebecca giggles, pink tongue swiping the blood off her lips. “I thought you were the guy, you know, and then I wake up in a dumpster.”

It’s strange that her eyes should still be the exact same shade as they were when she was alive. She looks like she’s searching for something in his face- an affirmation-an “I’m glad you’re here.” Aidan’s turned her into a killer like him now. He can’t give her anything. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. You liked it. I like what I am now. ”

“You killed her!”

“You killed me. You left me alone.” Rebecca sits licking her fingers, cross-legged against the wood floor as he tries to keep the blood in. “I’m hungry, Aidan.” Her voice is almost pitiful. “What could I do?” (He can barely remember his first kill, only Bishop’s calm voice as he shepherded him through.)

“I would have helped you get along without it.”

“Sure, that worked out so well for you.” There’s a familiar sheen, like a high, on Rebecca’s face. She’s sweating. This is no more Rebecca than the wolf is Josh. “Mmhhh. Can you smell that? You better turn her soon before I decide not to share.” She’s all wrong.

Kara’s eyes are growing sightless, incomprehensive. She was so young, and her only crime was being kind to him. Twenty-one, not two-hundred and some odd number. She was harmless and shy. Rebecca all over again. Something in Aidan shrivels. He can’t do this, not even for Josh. He can’t make another monster.


  •  


He washes Kara’s blood off his fingers in a sightless panic, pupils blackening, mouth a gaping ache. He wonders why Rebecca hasn’t made her escape, but she is standing there with her arms curled around her, staring at the pool of blood.

“I’m not going to turn you in.” He says tiredly. “If that’s what you’re worried about. Stay away from Josh and the hospital or that might have to change.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Take care of this.” Aidan wonders what price Bishop will exact for it, and how. It’s better if he thinks it’s him on the prowl again, instead of Rebecca. He doesn’t need to find out she exists. He can help her, he doesn’t need her seduced over his side or his plans for world domination.

“She’s really dead, then?” Rebecca breathes. “She was kind of pretty.” That is the only thing he can see left of her, the tiny look of sickness that passes over her face. She doesn’t try to drink again. She doesn’t try to leave and he doesn’t think he can look at her like this.

“You should leave. I can bring you something. It’s hospital blood. It’s not the same but, it helps.”

“Okay.”

She keeps looking at him like she doesn’t understand that he needs her gone. Rebecca was innocent and happy and human to him. She had been everything he was not. Now she’s watching him, blood-spattered face and lost eyes. He can’t hang onto her anymore.

She steps forward toward the window and easy freedom and he freezes. He knows his condition-their condition now. What you say is anything but what you are. She could go out and stalk Josh next…hurt him or any other in Boston’s population of thousands… He should stop her, but he’s the reason she’s like this. He has to trust her. He can’t steal this life from her too.

His body stiffens like a husk when she muffles her face in his shoulder. “It hurts.” She whispers. (Her body is cold, but he can feel her on every inch of his skin.)
That’s the irony, to him, to his life.
For a little while the pain stops.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
nonky
Jan. 3rd, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC)
YAY!

This is so juicy with the angst and the remorse. Aiden is obviously just furious with her, but he's glad to see her. He's secretly hoping for things he shouldn't hope for, and fighting those things very hard, because there is another dying girl on his hands and the body count keeps rising.

So all his anger is really a form of sympathy, because this is his addiction, too. He's trying to figure out if he should try to control Rebecca with seduction and force, or if he has no right to do anything to or for her ever again.

And the problem is, for him, he is her Bishop, except he dropped the ball and left her for dead. So does his lack of involvement in her vampire initiation make him more or less culpable for her being a killer? Is he more or less the cause of her current fall from humanity because he tried to finish her off and failed, or because he didn't stick around long enough to offer her the blood bank dietary option?

LOOK AT ALL THE SUBTEXT! And they didn't even have sex yet!

I like this fandom. I will heart it muchly.
vagrantdream
Jan. 7th, 2011 04:22 am (UTC)
HEE.
I have this feeling that my heart is going to be dueling between Aidan/Josh and Aidan/Rebecca. I can never resist my juicy angst. And this is probably way AU, and in reality it will be much more angsty and tortured probably with Bishop getting his hands on Rebecca (!!!) and her just wanting to become what Aidan was so she can be with him again--and falling deeper and deeper into the whole addiction.
It's going to be epically screwed up. I WANT IT.
Also, there should be sex.

hehe. You got it all. The way I see Aidan, is that he, like Davis to a certain extent, can compartmentalize his feelings to protect the human life he's trying to hold onto. (And increasingly, this is Josh's life to. *slashy nod*)

But there's this point where he has his "Eternal" moment. he can't hide from what he is and or what he cares for anymore- and he knows he really can't push Rebecca away because that is worse than being Bishop. Whatever his Hitler! motivations, Bishop was a good maker to him. But at the same time he's going to try and help her in a way that's just as bad as trying to help himself. He's far angrier at himself than he could ever be at her, but he hasn't adapted to be human enough to show it.
And yes, he's busy wishing for things like his pure sweet Rebecca back because I think he was halfway to loving her and she got snatched away and turned....and yeah....angst....
vagrantdream
Jan. 7th, 2011 04:22 am (UTC)
^and by him, so we can add a dose of dirtybadwrong.
God, I love this show.
oonaseckar
Jan. 4th, 2011 07:08 pm (UTC)
Rebecca, forget the blood habit and, er, killing you. He's a lazy entitled fuck who doesn't pull his weight around the house. RUN AWAY!

(And Josh, grow a spine and make him push a mop himself. You're a goddamn werewolf, man. Show him yer teeth.)
vagrantdream
Jan. 7th, 2011 02:55 am (UTC)
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
(Leave him al to us, Rebecca.)

BUT I must add that I watched and rewatched that scene and he didn't seem very lazy when it came to fucking... Heck, he was even...bitey....

But then again, Rebecca, look...
 
I'm sorry, but it is my prerogative to see Aidan naked as much as possible. Possibly, blood-covered and naked.
*nods*

I do however heartily desire for Josh to show Aidan his teeth. Kinky!
This is really bad, but Aidan is just one of those characters I see having sexual chemistry with everybody.
(However horrendous he is at mopping.)
oonaseckar
Jan. 7th, 2011 01:11 pm (UTC)
'lazy entitled fuck'

OK good point, I was using it as a noun not a verb...

but at some point I don't care how brooding and magnetic a creature of the night you are... You never do the dishes? DEALBREAKER!
oonaseckar
Jan. 7th, 2011 01:13 pm (UTC)
a particular type of noun... I now exit chased by a bear to try to master the elements of the English language.
nonky
Jan. 8th, 2011 10:07 pm (UTC)
*iZ educationalZ*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzhEt1-qGhk

It's cool, guys, there are so many uses for "fuck." SO MANY! I have included an educational video to illustrate.

I'm thinking about the children. *nod*

NSFW for f-bombing in many teaching examples. Actually, all teaching examples.

I love the internet.
nonky
Jan. 6th, 2011 01:22 pm (UTC)
I forgot to tell you the two versions of Rebecca are amazing. There's the Rebecca Aiden killed, who is a sweet and lovely, guilty memory for him. j

This woman: She keeps looking at him like she doesn’t understand that he needs her gone. Rebecca was innocent and happy and human to him. She had been everything he was not. Now she’s watching him, blood-spattered face and lost eyes. He can’t hang onto her anymore.

It's kind of unbelievably angsty the good old days of their relationship were when he thought he'd killed her. You're very good with the angst-ho pimping of Sam Witwer-shaped dramatic figures. Have you considered it as a career. ("Children, today I want to tell you about my job. I follow an actor in his different roles, and figure out ways to make everything SO MUCH WORSE in every bad turn of that character's life. Once I've dredged the bottom of his poor, wounded soul, I then suggest porny scenarios in which he could relieve some of his burden.")

AND THE NEW VAMPIRE REBECCA! Awesome! She's going to be morally challenged by what she's doing, I'm sure, but she also has connections to all Aiden's precious human life. (Camouflaged characters - the SW niche market. I would shop there for my toothpaste!*nod*)

This bit with the Aiden angst and the strange power of vamp!Rebecca over him: She steps forward toward the window and easy freedom and he freezes. He knows his condition-their condition now. What you say is anything but what you are. She could go out and stalk Josh next…hurt him or any other in Boston’s population of thousands… He should stop her, but he’s the reason she’s like this. He has to trust her. He can’t steal this life from her too.

General squeeing and dancing bananas for you! Also, I have a plan for some early LJ Being Human US promotion. I'm going to try to post a Being Human (or at least Aiden crossover) fanfic or other media for the next ten days until the (official) premiere. The people need to know.
vagrantdream
Jan. 7th, 2011 04:25 am (UTC)
I read all you comment salivating over the angst and then you got to this part
General squeeing and dancing bananas for you! Also, I have a plan for some early LJ Being Human US promotion. I'm going to try to post a Being Human (or at least Aiden crossover) fanfic or other media for the next ten days until the (official) premiere. The people need to know.
... then a slid back in my chair and did a Sallyghostflail.
YAY.
I've been posting Aidan stuffs on tumblr but... yeah, I need to get ficcing. I'll see if I drabble him. hee.
Imma wanna try that too.
And count me in as banana clutching Audience. XD
...The world must knooowwwwwwwww.
chlavisforever
Jan. 8th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
Screen CAAAAAP!
You little mind reader, you. That was EXACTLY the screen cap I was lusting after---Aidan in the library. HEEEEE! XD XD XD
(Believe me, I stopped the video at that point and gazed like a love-struck idiot.)
chlavisforever
Jan. 8th, 2011 11:22 pm (UTC)
As for this fic, it's touching, sad and in character with the way I see Aidan, who automatically accrues at least half of Davis Bloome's good qualities just by virtue of being a Sam-Witwer-shaped-dramatic-figure (to borrow from nonky.) XD

In the episode we saw, he looked so sweet and pleasantly startled---flattered even---by Rebecca's unexpected boldness. Despite everything he's done and seen, he's not completely jaded nor purely manipulative and smooth. This moment in his self-styled rehab must have felt so clean, so innocent, so far removed from his former vampy bloodlust stalking that he deceived himself into believing this time would be different. Hell, I'm not sure he even had expectations of getting laid as he walked up the stairs to her apartment. Maybe it would be a bottle of bad wine, cuddling and first-date talk till she dozed off in his arms at 2 a.m.... Or maybe she would show him her etchings (XD) Either way, he surrendered himself to the newness, the freshness, the unpredictability of the experience.

He’d learned some things about her inside. She still called her mother every day. There were picture frames of no one else, no brother, no father, no ex-boyfriends she was trying to forget. He couldn’t count how many girls like her he and Bishop had made disappear. Inside, Aidan’s mouth filled with a strange sense of panic.
...And then there is that. Old habits of predatory observation and potential-victim assessment die hard.

The way you described his vain attempt to clear his head by thinking of dead puppies while Rebecca tried even harder to please him with imploring kisses that only sealed her fate.... Just ouch. He's trying to protect her by mentally pulling away, which is only hurting her and making her more desperate to salvage her dream night with the man she's been crushing on for months. You can't help wondering if this would have turned out better if they had taken it slowly, reached this point after several dates. (I don't mean that in a preachy Twilight premarital-sex-will-destroy-you way.) Give Aidan more time to recognize the signs and hone his, uhm, relationship skills. Or at least deplete his catalog of Oh crap, I think I left the toaster on escape maneuvers.

The shy seduction Rebecca perpetuated felt genuine. She wasn’t practiced like Bishop, didn’t always know the right thing to say or do.
I think her shyness and awkwardness appealed to Aidan in part because that's where he is emotionally, despite all the surface smoothness and practiced charm. Plus there is the contrast to Bishop, his mentor and maybe more. (Nice way to leave it to the reader to choose to see or not see slashiness.)

She keeps looking at him like she doesn’t understand that he needs her gone. Rebecca was innocent and happy and human to him. She had been everything he was not. Now she’s watching him, blood-spattered face and lost eyes. He can’t hang onto her anymore.
That passage is so sad. She really is a lost child at this point. Confused, petulant and not really grasping the wrongness (and horror) of what she's just done.

But Aidan sure does. And he feels so guilty and responsible.
Kara’s eyes are growing sightless, incomprehensive. She was so young, and her only crime was being kind to him. Twenty-one, not two-hundred and some odd number. She was harmless and shy. Rebecca all over again. Something in Aidan shrivels. He can’t do this, not even for Josh. He can’t make another monster.
He can't make another monster. That has to be the saddest line in this fic. (It's rather Davis-y too.)

He should stop her, but he’s the reason she’s like this. He has to trust her. He can’t steal this life from her too.

His body stiffens like a husk when she muffles her face in his shoulder. “It hurts.” She whispers. (Her body is cold, but he can feel her on every inch of his skin.)
That’s the irony, to him, to his life.
For a little while the pain stops.

Angst.
*sigh*



chlavisforever
Jan. 8th, 2011 11:22 pm (UTC)
If the show doesn't make Rebecca a total self-serving bitch, I'll have no trouble shipping these two.
I also hope showKara doesn't meet the fate of ficKara. (Did the actress not look like she could be Anna Paquin's kid sister?)

Also, thanks for solving the question of how Aidan fakes social drinking.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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